The Secrets of Serised

“So everyone is waiting on me. It’s all on my shoulders.”

“All you have to do is pick up the staff, Xander. It’s that simple. Pick it up; take what I’ve offered you. For once trust something that doesn’t quite make sense to you.”

Xander was pacing back and forth now, not once letting the staff out of his sight. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t understand why it was so hard. He just had to believe, right? Why couldn’t he believe?

“It’s just a staff. I should be able to lift it.”

“It is a staff that brings a heavy burden on the shoulders of its bearer. To pick it up takes courage . . . faith. A willingness to walk a path that seems very difficult.”

“But once I pick it up, I can give it to you. Then it’s not on me anymore.”

“You will be set free of your burden, Xander. But you must accept the staff first. You cannot give me something you don’t have.”

Xander yanked at his hair with both hands now, pacing quicker, grinding his teeth, and looking skyward. Why was it so hard? He stopped. He turned back to where the staff lay.
I just have to pick it up. It’s that simple. I can save Lily, save us all. I just have to pick it up.

“Forgive yourself, Xander, for your inequities, as I have forgiven you. Let them go.”

“But I have!”

“Forgive others for the wrongs they have done you.”

That was it! He couldn’t pick up the staff with anger and resentment in his heart. Julian’s face loomed in the forefront of his mind. He thought of his betrayal, his hurt, his hatred.

Let that go? How?

The only way to save Lily was to forgive Julian. He knew it with absolute certainty. But how could he forgive the traitor who had been leading them straight into the clutches of the man to whom all evil paid homage?

He thought of the Nomed, how bravely he and Julian had fought it, together. He thought of the Snagap. Julian had saved Xander, yes, but it hadn’t stopped there. He could have made it to El Bib. He could have. But he went back for Lily and Thaladria. Xander thought of Elt Sopa, speaking about El Bib. “I know that you are no danger, for if you were, than you could not have entered here.” Elt Sopa was a servant of Hewhay. He had allowed Julian into the forest. Why?

He remembered fighting with Julian. At the time, he had felt unspeakable power in his anger. But he’d seen Julian fight before, and he was no match for that boy. Julian had bested him . . . and let him live. Why?

Why, on several occasions, had Julian risked his life for Xander, if all he was after was Lily?

“How could I have been so blind?” Xander cried. The speaker did not ask to what Xander was referring. He already seemed to know. “Whatever his intentions had been, whatever evil he has committed, surely he was trying to start anew. Probably trying to tell us. Xander shook his head, a disgusted scowl marring his features. And I-I turned him away. I drove him out. I was blind then, as I am blind now. But no more!”

He walked slowly, purposefully, to the staff. He bent down. “I can see now! I forgive him. I can see!” He grasped it with both hands and tugged on it hard, but his efforts proved unnecessary. The staff came away from the ground as if it weighed no more than a feather. A powerful glow that reminded him of the Messengers began to emanate from its crystal, and as he turned towards where the voice had been, joy and triumph written on his face, his gaze did not meet an empty field.